Post-Disney

Ugh. The post Disney depression is real. Disney was absolutely fantastic. It was everything I wanted it to be, and spending an entire week with Furio and Bella was amazing. I knew there would be a crash afterwards, but dang.

The last day of Disney, I had to hold back tears because I didn't want it to be over. Putting the kids on the bus to the airport was difficult. I cried in the food court talking to my mom about going home to an empty house and no job. She bought me the mug in the pic above to cheer me up.

We drove back to Daytona after picking Hoss up from the kennel, and I spent a day there decompressing before driving back home on Sunday. My Dad was inducted into the Maryland Entertainment Hall of Fame on Sunday. I was devastated not to be there. Thanks to my cousin Danielle for going live on Facebook so I could watch from my car. I cried.

I spent my drive alternating between listening to Game of Thrones (book 3), snapping my girlfriends for support (thanks to Robin, Mel, Jen, Jill, and Kate), and crying hysterically. It's an interesting thing to have your emotions control your body. The sadness I felt about returning to literally nothing was overwhelming. I knew Bryan was gone, I had no job prospects, and I'd be spending Christmas alone for the first time ever.

Now don't get me wrong, I have a TON of support near and far. There are some amazing women here that I can lean on and far away friends that are always willing to chat, text or snap with me when I need it. But, it's not the same as being with the people you love most in the world. It's just not.

So, my first night home I was a hot mess. Worse than when Bryan left. But I forced myself to unpack, do laundry, open mail, all while sobbing like a nut job. I had to get it out. The next day, I went to the new gym I'm joining with Leanne, who helped me blow of stress and even checked on me later. Then, I met up with some of the squadron spouses and spent 3 hours chatting, which made me feel better. The ladies all checked on me, which I sincerely appreciate.

After lunch, I had to go grocery shopping because my fridge looked like this:

In the grocery store, I was feeling very overwhelmed and lonely and wanted to run out. But, I made myself get it done. I chatted with Bryan, which always helps. By the way, I beat him in the first round of playoffs this week!

I am trying to focus on some events coming up. I am going to the Hearts Apart holiday party for deployed families Friday night. I have my monthly Geek Girl Brunch this Saturday and my concealed carry class Sunday. I'm trying to organize a get together on Christmas for the spouses home alone like me. I don't want anyone to feel as sad as I've been and be alone.

And then something positive happened about an hour ago. I got a call for an interview Thursday. It's for a case manager position at the Crestview Youth Academy, which is basically jail for kids. I'm optimistic, but it's a long commute. I'm going to FaceTime with the kids today so that will help lift my spirits a bit. Send me good vibes and I'll keep you posted next week!