Holiday Blues

Well, it's been another hard week. I have continued to apply to multiple jobs a day with little to no response. This week, I applied for a case manager position for the boys correctional facility. I was called for an interview and it went really well. I even think I'd like the job. They'll be interviewing next week and then they'll get back to me. The pay is abysmal. And the commute is just about an hour one way. If the job was right down the street, I'd probably take it. But I just don't know if I can spend 2 hours a day in the car for the pay they're offering. I've got just about 8 weeks of unemployment left (not counting if they grant an extension), so eventually I'll have to take something, anything. My plan for backup is that if I don't get something and unemployment runs out, I'll probably take one of those easy work-from-home customer service jobs while I keep searching. I can tell you one thing for sure, we will not stay in this area after Bryan retires unless I score some miracle job.

Sitting at home with no purpose really makes me feel worthless. It's demoralizing to have so much education and experience and not be able to land a job making half what I have been making the past 10 years. It's easy to get depressed. I wouldn't say I'm clinically there yet, but it's getting pretty close. I cry easily and it's hard to remain motivated. This week I received some really awesome presents from friends and family, including some handmade items from Furio and Bella which lifted my spirits a bit.

I joined an awesome gym this week as well. Even though I've been trying to just use the base gym because it's free, it's just not consistent enough and their classes aren't frequent or varied enough for me. In CA, I met the majority of my best friends at the gym, so I felt like I was missing that community in my life. For me, the gym is church. So, I joined one that I love. It's an extra expense, but I need it to stay sane. I'm also going to pay my car off to save some more money each month, and in anticipation of having no income at all, just in case. I've gone to the gym every day they've been open since I signed up. It's a women only boot camp type gym and I'm hoping to make some friends. You never know, maybe someone will have a job connection for me.

Friday evening, we were supposed to have our Hearts Apart holiday party for deployed families on base. However, all base activities were canceled this week due to an outbreak of the Norovirus (the same thing those cruise ship folks always get). So, some of the spouses decided to go to Zoo Lights, which is the first picture in this blog. After the zoo, which was super cute for a small zoo, we had some burgers and good conversation. Saturday was my monthly Geek Girl Brunch. This month was appropriately Star Wars themed. I ended up winning another raffle!

Sunday I spent the day with another spouse going through a gun safety course to get certified for a concealed carry license. Since Bryan has been gone, I've thought a lot about personal safety. I've been driving 7 hours back and forth to my mom's, stopping at rest stops alone and thinking "What would I do if I was attacked?". I'm fairly certain I'll never be walking around with a gun on my person, but in my glove box? Absolutely. We got to show our loading, handling, and gun safety at the range and I did great! Now, I plan to try out some handguns and decide which is right for me.

Bryan is still doing well. I didn't post about his teeth last week, but his beautiful brand new 4 tooth bridge FELL OUT! He was afraid they would send him home from deployment, but the other base in Kuwait had a dentist so he was able to travel there and have it temporarily fixed. Poor guy can't catch a break with his teeth. 

Last night I went to see The Last Jedi and LOVED it! I went with 2 spouses and we realized we all have birthdays in the same week (April 25, 26, 30). We discussed the holidays. On Christmas eve, I'll be spending time at Shelby's, having tacos and a salsa contest. On Christmas, some gals are coming to my place for movies, wine, and Chinese takeout. For New Year's, I'm going to go to Destin with some gals. So, even though I won't be home or with family on Christmas, I won't be alone. But, I will be lonely.